you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
