i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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