They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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