i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
