i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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