I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
