Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
