I am puke
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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