I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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