He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
