It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
