We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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