If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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