I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
