If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize