i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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