i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
