its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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