dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
