I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
