Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
