i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize