Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
