If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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