I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
