my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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