The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My feet surprised me
Randomize
