Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
