I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I could fuck to npr.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
