3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
