she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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