i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize