I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
