I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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