Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
