seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
