was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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