Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
