either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
