There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
