Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I love you.
Bad choice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
