haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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