I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
