Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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