Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
