You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
