i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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