did you get engaged???
We won't sleep together?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So squirting runs in the family.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
