brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
