He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
