Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
love makes seman taste better
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
