Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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