To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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