Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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