Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
