She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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