He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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