Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
