found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
