I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize